ARAFMI Tasmania

An Association of Friends and Relatives of the Mentally Ill (Tasmania) Incorporated

Usually resentment will tell you when a request is inappropriate for you to do.

Listen to your “resentment meter” as it is your emotional safety valve, and early warning system.

Tell the person the limits of the time, effort and money you are prepared to offer.

This may take several gentle but firm reminders. e.g. “I am willing to do ABC but not XYZ”.

Or “Would you like to do XYZ while I do ABC?”

Use a calm voice and sound like a repetitive broken record if necessary. Use emotions that connect rather than distance. You may want to tone down the level or degree of intensity of your distancing, negative emotions because people with mental illness symptoms can be very sensitive to them.

 

Assertiveness

May have four parts:

· A description of the action I find problematic

· A description of my feelings

· A statement of the consequence of that behaviour for me.

· A request for the behaviour I need to see

 

e.g. “When you don’t show up on time I feel frustrated. I don’t have a key, I can’t get inside. Would you be willing to call if you are going to be late so that I might stay with my friend longer?”